Observations

Two bits here..

I held off on posting this, mostly to get a grip on it myself. Late at the end of 2006, my Grandmother passed on. Heart attack the doctor said. She died on the same day as my Uncle's funeral right after Christmas. For a small favor, I'm glad she got to see Christmas. It was her favorite time of year above all others.

Unfortunately, after she had the attack, she fell and passed away. She wasn't found until a week later by relatives that live nearby (I do not). It turn a hard turn from there. Dad came back from Iraq to find things in a shambles which caused even more of a 'stress bomb'. Then work reared its stressful head, with a software release, tense negotiations and all. Then, if that wasn't enough, a costume club I'm a member of (yes I'm a member of a costume club... though some days... I wonder how I thought I'd have time for it!) holds their elections for their officers with me as 'election chair'! Naturally, as with any election, the best and worst of humanity sprung out like a hyperactive cat chasing a hapless mouse. Arguments, personality clashes, insults, 'mud-slingning', damaged friendships... the works. After awhile it was all I could do to try and mediate, shake my head and figure out ways to trick myself into sleeping for the 2-4 hours I could actually manage to rest.

I've heard the stories and dealt with the stress of ill-mannered relatives, ill-mannered club members as well as unexpected gems of kindness and fairness. It's amazing who, when under pressure, will rise to the occasion or embarass themselves in falling from it. It's never who you would expect I think. Heck they even asked me to 'run' for club president (the club terms it as 'commanding officer'). Given all this with my job(s), my Grandmother and all. I've just had more stress-testing of my own personal tolerance level than I want. Running for an election and undergoing the potential debates, questions, etc (I believe sociologists term it as 'fight for pack dominance') was just not something I wanted to engage in right now. Not that I couldn't, just would prefer not to fight that fight so I can win in the other struggles I'm slogging through.

Now though... my Grandmother is laid to rest, her estate (and some ill mannered people) is dealt with. The software release went off successfully. It almost didn't, but I put in a solid 13 hour day to make it happen. I'm sure there were bugs missed. Hey nobody's perfect, but at least most of it was released. The rest is cleanup.

Also fought over the club election repeatedly as well... just amazing how something so simple can dominate a person's life so easily without their wanting it to. Weeks long running arguments that really have left me tired... really really tired. The gym helps but really there comes a moment when you cannot shed the stress fast enough! The election continues but its more sedate now. Enough hurt feelings and insults have been tossed that the members look to be just flat burnt out or exhausted. Not too different from two street fighters, exhausted from hours of hard, bloody fighting are sitting on the pavement just glaring at each other because they've not enough energy to attack the other.

I need to find a place somwhere and do a "writer's retreat". Someplace out of the ordinary and just unwind for a couple of days and get some writing done. It'd be nice if it was someplace I'd not been yet. That way I could take breaks and wander around.

But overall.. I look back and find it interesting how people reacted. Watching how people have reacted to both a funeral of a loved one and of club officer elections both drag out the good and bad. Who ever would think two such events, not even related in the least, would cause the same end effect.

And as for my Grandmother... God bless Grandma. Sleep well and I'll see you later. I promise I'll still keep my word and stand up for what I believe and myself.